What to do when a family member dies

When a family member dies, you will want to begin working with both the mortuary and our parish. When you reach out to us at Santa Sophia, we will set up a meeting with you to learn more about your loved one and to plan the details of the funeral.

You can begin preparing by choosing the readings for the funeral Mass using the following guide: Funeral Mass Readings

This is the basic order of service for a Funeral:

Funeral Mass Outline

Funeral Outside of Mass Outline

For advance planning of your funeral Mass, please call the parish office for an appointment.

Office Phone: 619-463-6629.

The Catholic Funeral has Three Parts

All three parts are beautiful rites, combined to honor the deceased, give comfort to friends and family, and most importantly, to pray in the hope of resurrection.

1. The Vigil
2. The Funeral with body present (cremated remains is acceptable, too)
3. The Burial of the body (or cremated remains) after the funeral. 

Points to consider

Cremation is accepted by the Catholic Church; however, cremated remains are expected to be treated as if they were an intact body in a casket. This means that cremated remains must not be divided nor combined with other cremains, nor kept in the home for any extended period of time. Scattering of cremated remains, whether at sea or on land is not consistent with the Church’s teachings on the treatment of human remains. Burial of cremated remains at sea (not scattering) is permitted by the Church, but requires permission of the proper civil authorities, and ensuring that the sealed container with the cremated remains sinks to their final resting place at the bottom of the sea.

Military honors, including gun salutes and the flag ceremony, are generally performed at the place of burial, though an honor guard may be present during the funeral.

Advance planning your funeral at Santa Sophia is a great gift of love that you can leave your spouse and/ or children. They will breathe a sigh of relief and truly thank you for it in their time grief! When you plan in advance you get to choose your preferred sacred music and Scripture readings. Your funeral will be just as you want it to be!

Use of an Ossuary

When a funeral involves cremains, Santa Sophia Church uses an ossuary to house the urn or box during the liturgy.

The ossuary is used at the entrance of the church when the body is received by the Church. Four relatives or friends carry the ossuary forward during the opening hymn. Similar to the way a casket is moved and placed in front of the sanctuary and Pascal Candle, the ossuary is brought forward and placed on a small table.

At the end of the liturgy, the relatives or friends carry the ossuary out during the recessional hymn. The urn or box is then removed and taken to the cemetery or sea for the Committal.

Bereavement Ministry

Our bereavement ministry gathers several times per year. If you are grieving over the death of a loved one you are invited and encouraged to participate. Many have found these sessions very helpful for processing their grief.

The group meets for seven weekly sessions and new sessions start several times a year.  Learn more about our bereavement ministry.